Battle of the Stands/Transcript
opens up on a curb, Fanboy and Chum Chum carry out several supplies. Fanboy puts a table on the ground and both lay out a tablecloth. Chum Chum sets up some paper cups while Fanboy puts out a punch bowl. Chum Chum puts lemons in Fanboy's mouth and pumps his arm, using him as a lemon juicer. Fanboy pours in the sugar while Chum Chum adds the ice cubes. They finish by putting up a lemon sign, signifying the opening of their lemonade stand Chum Chum: So, what do we do now? Fanboy: Just sit back and wait for the money to roll in. puts out an empty jar. They sit and wait, a tumbleweed rolls by Narrator: 1 hour later... still sit and wait, another tumbleweed rolls by Narrator: 3 hours later... to a view of the sun Chum Chum: Aw, we've been out here soooo loooong. Fanboy: Ugh, and it's so hot! Chum Chum: the camera And we still haven't sold any lemonade! Fanboy: Yeah... that he and Chum Chum are sitting in the punch bowl But it sure is keeping us cool! Chum Chum: And just think about the natural juices we've added to the lemonade! laugh Fanboy: Chum Chum, that's it! "Natural juices"! We need to add more natural juices to our lemonade! at the empty jar That's got to be the only reason why we haven't sold any. in the punch bowl Chum Chum, let's juice up our lemonade-da! Chum Chum: Juicy juice! run off later... Fanboy: Pickle juice, for flavor. Chum Chum: Mmm. Spray cheese for Vitamin D. Fanboy: Nice! Beard juice for manliness! Chum Chum: Ooh! Toy juice for fun! Fanboy: And comic juice for ze pow, boom! "juices" bubble in the punch bowl Fanboy: Perfect. Chum Chum, with our new juicy secret lemonade recipe, we'll have to fight off all the customers. Narrator: Fall... Fanboy: laugh F'all the customers. laugh Narrator: Winter... Fanboy and Chum Chum: chattering Fanboy: I mean, who doesn't like lemonade in winter? laugh Narrator: Spring... Fanboy: Any minute now, Chum. I can feel those customers c-c-coming. Narrator: Summer... Chum Chum: twitching I! CAN'T! TAKE IT! whines Fanboy: I don't understand it! We have a high-traffic location... the street they're on is quiet, save for a car honk Fanboy: Quality product... the punch bowl, all that remains is a sock in green goop with flies Fanboy: Competitive pricing, and a state-of-the-art cash register... Dollarnator: Hey, it's a team effort. Fanboy: WHY ARE THERE NO CUSTOMERS?!?!? Chum Chum: I don't know, maybe we should ask Lupe and Yo. Fanboy: What could they possibly know about it?! Chum Chum: Well, their stand seems to be doing pretty well. another lemonade stand where Yo and Lupe are at. Michael is seen paying for lemonade, and the girls giggle as they put their money in a jar while horror music plays. Fanboy is outraged Fanboy: WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THIS! rides Chum Chum to the girls' lemonade stand across the street Fanboy: Who put you up to this? Lupe: Hi, Fanboy! Yo: Hi, Chum Chum! Fanboy: Don't "Hi, Fanboy" me! Chum Chum: Hi, Lupe. Fanboy: Don't "Hi, Lupe" her! Yo What is the big idea, putting a lemonade stand on our corner? Yo: Fanboy, I'd love to chat, but we have a lot of customers who were here before you. the long line Lupe: Yeah. So, if you could please go to the back of the line? Fanboy: I'm not going ANYWHERE till I get some ANSWERS! Hank: You heard the little lady, back of the line! looks back and forth at Hank and the camera three times, growls and stomps off with Chum Chum to a close up of a screen reading "82", it changes to "83" Lupe: 83. 83? holding a ticket, stamps his foot impatiently Lupe: Okay, 84. 84? looks at Lupe, then his ticket, then at Lupe Lupe: All righty then, 85. Fanboy: happily, slams ticket on counter Yo: May I help you? Fanboy: What's the big idea, putting a lemonade stand on OUR corner!? Yo: I know! isn't this a great location? Chum Chum: It's OUR location! Lupe: Your location for what? Fanboy: OUR LEMONADE STAND! Lupe: around I don't see it. points to his and Chum Chum's lemonade stand behind them, it collapses Yo: Is it behind that collapsing outhouse? Chum Chum: It's folksy! Yo: Ohhhh, like a ghost town. Lupe: Now, what was it you say you wanted? Medium or large? Fanboy: We...are not here...for your lousy...LEMONADE! and Lunch Lady cram knock the boys away and line up Hank: I'll take that large. Lunch Lady Cram: Yeah! I'll take one, too! Lupe: Thank you, come again. Fanboy: Now, you listen to me. You have no right to be on this -- drops coins in the jar, making the rest of Fanboy's dialogue inaudible Lupe: Thank you, come again. Yo: I'm sorry, what? Lupe: It is coordinate. Chum Chum: He's trying to tell you, that we were here first, so -- Lady Cram drops coins in the jar, making the rest of Chum Chum's dialogue inaudible Lupe: Thank you, come again. Good, huh? Yo: Sorry, sweetie. You're gonna have to speak up. Lupe: Thank you, come again. Fanboy: You need to -- Chum Chum: We're trying to tell you -- drop Fanboy: We have worked too hard -- Chum Chum: The only work we -- drop Fanboy: Chamber of conference will not -- Chum Chum: We really have -- drop Fanboy: Do you mind?! Lupe: Oh, jar is full. jar away Fanboy: Phew. Thank you. Now, I am only going to say this, once. You -- is shown dumping the coins into a wagon, making Fanboy and Chum Chum's dialogue inaudible Chum Chum: ...said this last! Fanboy: ...for you! Yo: them a cute look So, what you're saying is...you want your lemonade in flowery cups. cute look Chum starts to scream, but Fanboy stops him Fanboy: Actually, yes. We would. cup BUT WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR IT! laugh evilly as they run back to their own stand across the street. Yo looks at her jar Chum Chum: Psst! coin in jar the boys' lemonade stand... Fanboy: Dollarnator, come on! So, what's their secret? Why are they selling so much lemonade? Dollarnator: Don't rush me! It's a process! Good rags. sniffs Nice bouquet. lemonade Identifying component ingredients: Artificial lemon flavoring, sugar substitute substitute, imitation water. Analysis... beeps for a few moments as the boys giggle mischievously, Dollarnator spits lemonade on them Dollarnator: Horrible! Chum Chum: I don't understand. If it's so bad, why do they have so many customers? Fanboy: That's what we're gonna find out. boys and Dollarnator spy on the girls' stand behind a bush Chum Chum: Fanboy, what do you see? puts his hands up like binoculars and makes whirring noises as he focuses on the girls Yo and Lupe: Here you go! Heeheeheeheehee! focuses on Hank and Miss Olive Hank: Aren't they the cutest little things you ever did see? Miss Olive: Well, they're just precious! Yo and Lupe: Heeheeheeheehee! focuses back on the girls as they dance Yo and Lupe: Heeheeheeheehee! Fanboy: Of all the low-down, dirty -- Chum Chum: What, Fanboy? Fanboy: They're adorable. Yo and Lupe: Heeheeheeheehee! Fanboy: Go ahead and laugh, ladies, 'cause revenge is a dish best served cute. and Dollarnator laugh manically as the camera zooms in on Chum Chum, who gives a rather cute look to the girls' lemonade stand, the boys bring their stand right next to it Lupe: Hey, what are they up to? Yo: Lupe, cuteness forward! Lupe's face front Lunch Lady Cram: offscreen Aw, isn't he cute? Yo: Aw, thank you! Hmmhmmhmmhmm! Wait a minute. "He"? crowd is at Fanboy and Chum Chum's lemonade stand, Hank babbles Yo: Excuse me! Coming through! Out of my way, old man! look down to see Chum Chum giving a rather cute look. He is holding Fanboy, disguised as a baby Fanboy: laughs Baby. Crowd: Awwwwww!/Ohhhhh! Poopatine: Aw, he doesn't scream when he sees me. That's adorable. Chum Chum: Shh, I think he's about to say his first words. Fanboy: off pacifier Ba...wha...BUY OUR LEMONADE! Crowd: Awwwwww!/Ohhhhh! run up to the stand Hank: I'll take that large. Lunch Lady Cram: Yeah! I'll take one, too! jar fills up with coins Chum Chum: Oh, thank you. Thank you, good people. You're too kind. Yo: Hold it right there! That's not a real baby! Chum Chum: Oh -- uh -- uh -- ye -- oh -- clearly, she's been working under the sun too long. Of course this is a real baby. Look! sucks his thumb to prove it, the crowd is confused Yo: Oh yeah? Ye -- Well, I can prove he's not a real baby because of this -- cries Yo: And just look at his -- cries again Yo: And his stupid-looking -- cries once more Chum Chum: Is the mean girl making you cry? Fanboy: Mmm-hmm. Poopatine: offscreen Well, that girl is just nasty. Hank: Well, I am not buying any more lemonade from any girl who makes a baby cry! and Chum Chum giggle Yo: BUT HE'S NOT A BABY! Hank: offscreen Looks like a baby to me. Lunch Lady Cram: offscreen If that's not a baby, I don't know what is. and Chum Chum giggle again Yo: Okay, then. Well, I suppose if he is a baby, he wouldn't want to read... out a Man-Arctica comic ...a first edition Man-Arctica comic! begins to fidget Chum Chum: Don't do it, Fanboy. You already have twelve of those at -- Fanboy: MAN-ARCTICA! Chum Chum: -- Home. Fanboy: Oh, Man-Arctica's -- ohh, look at the colors -- ohh, it feels so good! Ohhh... laughs Hank: A-a-ahem! Fanboy: Oh. Uh...goo, goo, gaga? Hank: You're not a real baby! Fanboy: Noooo, but I can explain. Because...um...well... Yo's hair off her head THIS ISN'T YO'S REAL HAIR! Crowd: Ew! Yo: Oh, yeah?! Well...Chum Chum's left leg isn't real! Chum's left leg springs Crowd: Ew! Lupe: laughs Chum Chum: Oh, yeah? Well, Lupe's really a robo-droid, being operated by a much smaller Lupe! head sinks, then rises to reveal a smaller Lupe in it Mini Lupe: Ay! Pay no attention! Pay no attention! Ay! Pay no attention! Crowd: Ugh! Fanboy and Chum Chum: laughing Yo: THAT'S IT! UGH! You and your stand are going down! Fanboy: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna -- girls jump on them, starting a big ball of violence which smashes both lemonade stands Hank: offscreen A-a-ahem! fight stops, Yo punches Fanboy one last time Fanboy: Oh, hey, guys. Poopatine: What a pathetic display. Hank: We are taking back our money, and spending it somewhere more respectable! Lunch Lady Cram: Hey! Like that Frosty Freezy Freeze stand across the street! over to Dollarnator at a Frosty Freezy Freeze stand where the boys' lemonade stand was at the start of the episode Dollarnator: Next, please. Fanboy/Chum Chum/Yo/Lupe: Dollarnator? crowd runs to the stand Dollarnator: Come on, guys. Lemonade was so three minutes ago. Category:Transcripts